The Skill of Making Peace with Your Average Days


The Skill of Making Peace with Your Average Days

Read time: 6 minutes

Hey, welcome back.

Hey, welcome back.

Last week, I wrote about why automating what people hate is the simplest path to leverage, and how friction removal beats brilliance more often than we’d like to admit. You can read that (and all past issues, here)

This week, I want to talk about something far more personal.
Not systems.
Not business.
You.

Specifically:
your average days, the ones you quietly judge, apologise for, or try to outrun.

We spend so much of our lives trying to optimise, improve, upgrade, accelerate…
that we forget the truth every high performer eventually has to face:

Most of your life is made of days where you’re simply… okay.
Not exceptional.
Not broken.
Just human.

And learning to make peace with those days might be the most underrated skill you ever develop.

The Quiet War Between Who You Are and Who You Think You Should Be

There’s a certain pressure that comes with being ambitious.
You start to believe that your value only shows up on “high-output days”. The days you crush your to-do list, move the needle, show brilliance.

Everything else feels like a disappointment.

But here’s the irony:
Your exceptional days don’t build your life.
Your average ones do.

Because that’s where consistency lives.
That’s where identity forms.
That’s where compounding happens.

Yet most ambitious people punish themselves for every day that isn’t a highlight reel.
I’ve done it too.

There were years when I measured myself by the peaks, the days I worked like a superhero.
But that created a strange emotional hangover.
Because if that’s the standard, every “normal” day feels like failure.

It took me years to understand:
The pressure to be extraordinary every day is what destroys extraordinary lives.

The Philosophy of the Middle Gear

Think of a car.

You can’t drive in sixth gear all the time, the engine would burn out.
You can’t stay in first gear either, you’d go nowhere.

Your real life happens in the middle gears.
The steady ones.
The unremarkable ones.

But we’re conditioned to only celebrate our extremes.
Our highs get applause.
Our lows get sympathy.

Our average days get ignored.

Yet your average day is the most honest expression of who you are:
your habits, your self-dialogue, your baseline energy, your emotional literacy.

One of the most liberating shifts you can make is this:

Stop trying to optimise every day into a masterpiece.
Start learning to honour the part of you that’s simply surviving well.

Sometimes the most productive thing you do is hold yourself gently.

The Emotional Cost of Resenting Your Average Days

There’s a hidden tax high achievers pay:
resentment toward themselves on the days they’re not performing.

But resentment compounds just as fast as progress.
And if your internal environment becomes hostile, your external results eventually mirror it.

The truth is simple and slightly uncomfortable:

You can’t build a peaceful life while waging war against your own ordinary moments.

Your nervous system needs consistency.
Your creativity needs boredom.
Your ambition needs recovery.
Your identity needs stability.

Your average days are not the enemy.
They are the foundation.

If You Want Greatness, You Have to Respect the Ordinary

What actually creates long-term success isn’t intensity, it’s reliability.

Your business isn’t built in your peaks.
Your relationships aren’t built in your breakthroughs.
Your health isn’t built in your sprints.

Everything meaningful is built in the middle.

And the moment you stop judging your average days, something fascinating happens:
you start performing better.

Less guilt.
More flow.
More gentleness.
More momentum.

It turns out self-acceptance is a performance enhancer.

A Reframe for the Rest of Your Week

Next time you have a day that feels unremarkable, try asking:

“What if today didn’t need to be special to be meaningful?”

Let your average days count.
Let them belong.
Let them support your ambition instead of competing with it.

Because in the end:

Your legacy is built on hundreds of ordinary days that you showed up for, not the handful of brilliant ones you remember.

To honouring the middle gear,
Dan

The Room where it happened from Jake Humphrey with Thea Green (Nails Inc)

I love Jake, and I’ve recently become friends with and highly impressed by Thea Green of Nails Inc

For the Culture by Marcus Collins

This book explores why brands become cool, how culture gets formed, why trends take off and how to pay attention to the cultural fabric in society.

Tulsa King

I’ve been too busy for anything serious and this show is easy watching, no brain needed.

A 2020 study published in Emotion found that people who learned to accept their “non-ideal emotional states”, including low motivation, low energy, and neutral days, experienced significantly higher overall well-being and lower stress.


The key insight: self-acceptance amplifies emotional resilience, while self-judgment weakens it.

📌 Quick Takeaway →

Your average days aren’t failures, they’re emotional training grounds.
When you stop punishing yourself for being human, everything in your life compounds faster.

→ Link to study

In my goal to help more entrepreneurs/people who are looking to level up their careers, I've just started taking 1-1 consulting calls (only 1 a week)

Why book a call? Some of my expertise/success:

  • I've built 5 startups. 1 win, 1 fail, and 3 still going.
  • E-Commerce: Heights - with revenue over £20M a year.
  • Community: Foundrs, one of the UK's top founder communities
  • Podcasting: Leaders Media - I bootstrapped a media company that made the UK's top business podcasts including Secret Leaders, with over 50M downloads across the network.
  • Health/Mental Health: Overcame burnout, insomnia, depression & anxiety in pursuit of success. Hear me on Steven Bartlett's on Diary of a CEO
  • Angel Investing: I've invested in over 100 startups
  • Coached & Mentored: Certified coach & 5* mentor on Mentorpass
  • Personal Brand: Over 400,000 followers across social

So if you're interested in booking a session with me to talk all things business or building a personal brand, book for 30-minutes or 45-minutes. (limited spots).

I'm building a vault of valuable tools, resources, and one sheets that I hope help you succeed.

These will be stored in the ever-growing 'Science of Success' vault - you can always access that here.

🧠 Fuel your brain and feed your gut, try Heights here (use code 'SOSDMS' for 15% off your first month of any subscription​

Dan Murray

Serial Entrepreneur and host of one of Europe's top business podcasts, Secret Leaders with over 50M downloads & angel investor in 85+ startups - here to share stories and studies breaking down the science of success - turning it from probability to predictability.

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