Money Stops Being Elusive When It Stops Being Special


Money Stops Being Elusive When It Stops Being Special

Read time: 6 minutes

Hey, welcome back.

Last week, I wrote about why you should call your parents, hang out with friends, and spend an awful amount of money on trips you've promised yourself.

Because the now is all we have.

You can read that (and all past issues, here).

Today, I want to talk about money. I've been thinking a lot about how to teach my kids financial literacy - but I'm learning it for the first time (as someone who grew up not understanding any of it), so today I'll share the big psychological shift I learned through my business journey, that helped money flow towards me, in case it frames your thinking.

In the meantime, I'll be learning about how to teach kids financial literacy so if I uncover anything meaningful - I'll share what I'm trying at some point in the future.

So let's talk money - not in the way most people do, with clichés or guilt or self-help buzzwords - but the way it actually feels when you start making more of it.

Because here’s something I wish I’d learned sooner:

The first step to making a lot of money
is normalising it.

Not chasing it.
Not worshipping it.
Just making it ordinary.

Money Was a Mirror — And I Didn’t Like What I Saw

When I was younger, I saw people with money and thought they were a different species.
They looked confident. Sharp. Untouchable.

Meanwhile, I was working every hour of the day, obsessing over outcomes, telling myself “one day.”
Money felt like a test I kept failing.

And underneath that - probably some shame.

Because if you secretly believe money is hard to make, you’ll keep proving yourself right.
You’ll sabotage opportunities that seem “too big.”
You’ll assume anyone wealthy must have cheated the system.

The truth is, money was never the problem.
My relationship with it was.

You Stop Chasing Money When You Stop Glorifying It

There’s a strange peace that comes when you finally get desensitised to wealth.

I remember sitting at a dinner surrounded by people doing eight figures a year.
For the first half hour, I couldn’t focus.
All I could think was: how?

Then, slowly, I realised - they weren’t talking about money.
They were talking about systems, people, ideas.

Money wasn’t this mystical trophy for them.
It was just fuel.

And when I started thinking like that -
when I stopped being impressed by money and started being curious about process, it stopped running my life.

The Brain Learns What “Normal” Means

Here’s what’s wild.
Your brain doesn’t chase what it wants - it chases what it recognises.

That’s why environment is everything.

If all your reference points are people struggling, you’ll subconsciously anchor yourself to that baseline.
But if you surround yourself with people who treat abundance like oxygen, your brain recalibrates.

That’s not arrogance.
It’s an adaptation.

You rewire your belief system to see wealth as possible, familiar, even inevitable.
And once your subconscious believes something is normal, it stops resisting it.

Money becomes part of the landscape - not a mountain.

When Money Becomes Boring, You’re Free

The goal isn’t to become obsessed with money.
The goal is to make peace with it.

Money should be boring - like brushing your teeth or paying rent.
Predictable. Routine. Steady.

The moment you stop obsessing over it, you create the mental space to build it.
You make decisions from calm, not fear.
You see opportunities instead of competition.

And ironically, that’s when it grows fastest.

What Changed Everything For Me

I stopped asking “how do I make more money” and started asking:
“How do I think like someone who already has it?”

That one shift dissolved years of scarcity.

Because the truth is, people who handle money well don’t have some secret playbook.
They just see the world through a different lens - one where wealth isn’t rare or mystical, just a natural byproduct of consistent action and emotional neutrality.

When you stop seeing money as magic, you finally start making it like math.

To calm ambition,
Dan
PS: Speaking of money, I hung out with billionaire Richard Harpin yesterday who sold his company Homeserve for over £4 Billion - and will be appearing on his podcast in January... I obvs also got him to sign up to be an early customer of our brand new product launching end of this month - designed for longevity.... 👀

Avi Loeb on Joe Rogan

There's a strange comet in the sky called 3 i Atlas. It may be a space craft. He explains why, and wow, is he compelling.

The Innovators by Walter Isaacson

The history of innovation from ada lovelace inventing the computer onwards to Silicon Valley, an epic true story of the heroes who shaped the modern world

Ballad of a Small Player

Colin Farrell at his best, down on his luck in Macau. Netflix

A study found that people with an “optimistic explanatory style” - those who interpret setbacks as temporary and growth-oriented - showed higher problem-solving ability, lower stress, and better health outcomes.

Their brains literally processed challenges differently, engaging prefrontal regions associated with cognitive control instead of fear.

Quick Takeaway →
Optimism isn’t delusion. It’s cognitive training. Your brain believes the story you repeat most - so choose the one that moves you forward.

→ Link to study

In my goal to help more entrepreneurs/people who are looking to level up their careers, I've just started taking 1-1 consulting calls (only 1 a week)

Why book a call? Some of my expertise/success:

  • I've built 5 startups. 1 win, 1 fail, and 3 still going.
  • E-Commerce: Heights - with revenue over £20M a year.
  • Community: Foundrs, one of the UK's top founder communities
  • Podcasting: Leaders Media - I bootstrapped a media company that made the UK's top business podcasts including Secret Leaders, with over 50M downloads across the network.
  • Health/Mental Health: Overcame burnout, insomnia, depression & anxiety in pursuit of success. Hear me on Steven Bartlett's on Diary of a CEO
  • Angel Investing: I've invested in over 100 startups
  • Coached & Mentored: Certified coach & 5* mentor on Mentorpass
  • Personal Brand: Over 400,000 followers across social

So if you're interested in booking a session with me to talk all things business or building a personal brand, book for 30-minutes or 45-minutes. (limited spots).

I'm building a vault of valuable tools, resources, and one sheets that I hope help you succeed.

These will be stored in the ever-growing 'Science of Success' vault - you can always access that here.

🧠 Fuel your brain and feed your gut, try Heights here (use code 'SOSDMS' for 15% off your first month of any subscription​

Dan Murray

Serial Entrepreneur and host of one of Europe's top business podcasts, Secret Leaders with over 50M downloads & angel investor in 85+ startups - here to share stories and studies breaking down the science of success - turning it from probability to predictability.

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