You're Addicted to Struggling​
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Read time: 6minutes

Hey, welcome back.

Last week, I shared moving the identity shift moving from 'consumer' to 'creator'.

​You can read that (and all past issues, here).

To hammer this point home, I was on the main stage of Ideas Fest, interviewed by Daniel Priestley on growing Heights and we went on right after marketing genius Rory Sutherland so I asked him to critique Heights (Rory, is it a painkiller, vitamin or placebo?). Quintessentially British waffling ensued...

Today, I want to talk about something I see all the time in entrepreneurs, creators, and leaders:​
The addiction to struggle.

Why Struggle Feels Like Progress

In the early days of anything, whether building a company, learning a skill, or getting fit, struggle is inevitable. Long nights. Rejection. Doubt. Hustle.

The problem is that many of us anchor our identity to struggle itself.

We confuse pain with progress.
We tell ourselves, “If it’s not hard, I must not be growing.”

But struggle is a phase, not a destination. The danger is when you start craving it, when chaos becomes your comfort zone.

The Struggle Trap

I have also seen this up close.

I've been guilty of feeling like I'm thriving in this place, when in fact I've lost perspective and according to those around me, am even starting to demonstrate toxic behaviour. This is a great reason to have at least one amazing friend or partner who can keep you honest - sometimes our mirror reflects back the pretense we want to see.

I've seen it in myself, in founders I have backed, in friends burning out.
The cycle looks like this:

• You grind, and you succeed
• You associate the grind with the win
• You subconsciously seek out more grind
• You create unnecessary fires to put out, just to feel productive
• You are on the path to burn out....

That is addiction to struggle. It is the mental loop that keeps you trapped in survival mode even when you have earned the right to operate from stability.

We see it in extremes with various celebrities. People like Kanye West who at the very peak of his career, loved by fans, finally cherished the world over the genius he always claims he was - truly seen for his talent - throws it all away with endless hateful tirades, causing chaos, looking for attention, addicted to the struggle which he no longer has due to so much abundance - which is the actual goal but crucially we need abundance with meaning or else it becomes its own void.

Why Abundance Matters

The truth is, you do not always have to struggle.
Yes, in the beginning, it is normal. But the endgame is not to stay there.

What fuels long-term success is abundance:

• Abundance of time: designing systems so you are not always firefighting
• Abundance of trust: hiring people, delegating, letting go
• Abundance of energy: doing the things that recharge you instead of only depleting you
• Abundance of perspective: making decisions from possibility, not fear
• Abundance of generosity and a spirit of giving: enabling others to reach their Heights and have a taste of your own freedom.

Abundance says: “I can create. I can expand. I can enjoy.”

That is where the best ideas come from, not when you are drowning, but when you have space to breathe.

My Wake Up Call

When I burned out before Heights, I thought struggle was proof of ambition. Six months of insomnia, anxiety, and depression taught me otherwise.

I had been addicted to the grind.
I wore struggle like a badge.

But the moment I started making decisions from abundance, prioritising sleep, fuelling my brain with quality nutrients, investing in long-term systems instead of short-term hacks, everything changed.

Revenue grew. Relationships improved. My creativity came back.

Not because I fought harder.
But because I stopped fighting everything.

How to Shift Out of Struggle Mode

You cannot just decide abundance. But you can design for it. Start here:

1. Audit your struggle habits
   Ask: What fires am I creating for myself just to feel useful
2. Set an abundance anchor
   Each week, schedule one decision, activity, or choice that comes from abundance, not survival. Example: investing in training your team instead of doing it yourself
3. Redefine progress
   Progress is not “I suffered today.” Progress is “I moved closer to my vision without sacrificing my health.”
4. Detach your identity from the grind
   You are not the person who hustles the hardest. You are the person who builds something that lasts.

My Inflection Point

When Heights was just starting, I leaned too hard into fast knowledge - fundraising, branding, launching. It worked, but it also drained me.

Eventually, I realised the company would only grow if I grew. That meant leaning into slow, sometimes boring knowledge - sleep hygiene, nutrition, leadership that protects wellbeing.

I even learned how to become a coach and became the internal coach for my team for 18 months to help them develop motivation, discipline and mindset skills instead of grinding out more technical business skills. As Derek Sivers says "If more information was the answer, we'd all be billionaires with six packs".

Sometimes hard work is the answer, sometimes its the problem. Your job is to figure out what you truly need as a person and in your life at a given moment.

This ability to shift is what has helped build Heights into something sustainable. And it’s the same for you. You need both gears.

The Real Question

Are you building a life where struggle is the only proof of your effort
Or are you moving toward a life where abundance drives your impact?

One is survival.
The other is sustainable.

And the shift between them is where real success lives.

To creating from abundance,​
Dan

PS: Last week I invited you to see me talk this week at Vanta HQ - and a bunch of you snapped that up that's now sold out so see a bunch of you there this week ❤️

SOS (Science of Success) Curated:

LinkedIn of the week: It’s not quitting. It’s choosing progress.​

Podcast of the week: 7 Toxic Products Destroying Your Health​

My Tweet of the week: £20M ARR at Heights ($27M)! ​

Research Worth Reading

Research Worth Reading​
A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that people who framed challenges as opportunities for growth showed better resilience, but those who glorified hardship itself were more likely to burn out and report lower well being. The difference was mindset focus. Struggle as a tool helped. Struggle as an identity harmed.

Quick Takeaway​
Struggle is meant to be a ladder, not a prison. Respect it in the beginning. But do not worship it forever.

​→ Link to stud​y​

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1-1 Coaching with Dan

In my goal to help more entrepreneurs/people who are looking to level up their careers, I've just started taking 1-1 consulting calls (only 1 a week)

Why book a call? Some of my expertise/success:

I've built 5 startups. 1 win, 1 fail, and 3 still going.

E-Commerce: Heights - with revenue over £20M a year.

Community: Foundrs, one of the UK's top founder communities

Podcasting: Leaders Media - I bootstrapped a media company that made the UK's top business podcasts including Secret Leaders, with over 50M downloads across the network.

Health/Mental Health: Overcame burnout, insomnia, depression & anxiety in pursuit of success. Hear me on Steven Bartlett's on Diary of a CEO​

Angel Investing: I've invested in over 100 startups

Coached & Mentored: Certified coach & 5* mentor on Mentorpass

Personal Brand: Over 400,000 followers across social

So if you're interested in booking a session with me to talk all things business or building a personal brand, book for 30-minutes or 45-minutes. (limited spots).

Science of Success Vault

I'm building a vault of valuable tools, resources, and one sheets that I hope help you succeed.

These will be stored in the ever-growing 'Science of Success' vault - you can always access that here

Want to take your success (even more) seriously? 👇​
🧠 Fuel your brain and feed your gut, try Heights here (use code 'SOSDMS' for 15% off your first month of any subscription​

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